Powerful Letting Go of Control Worksheets
Downloadable Powerful Letting Go of Control Worksheets
We crave control in life because of many different reasons. Here are just a few below.
- Growing up with nonattentive and neglectful caregivers
- Growing up with verbal abuse, demeaning and domineering caregivers
- Witnessing someone else tolerate long term demeaning/domineering behaviors
- Growing up with caregivers that were often intoxicated or under the influence of a mind altering substance
- Experiencing or witnessing physical abuse
- Experiencing or witnessing sexual abuse
- Experiencing enmeshed relationships with anyone in childhood; lack of boundaries, no personal space, lack of autonomy, etc.
- Abandonment; whether it be official legal adoption, or appearing as a perfectly normal happy family from the outside world while receiving no attention or affection
- Experiencing a significant loss as child; such a sibling, parent, or other important person
- Experiencing a significant loss as an adult
- There are so many more…
This despairing need to feel regulated and have some form of power shows it’s face in a lot of different ways.
Most of us have these moments now and then but some of us do more than others. People who are prone to being controlling in nature are going to get worse when we’re under stress or a life event triggers the habits.
Keep that in mind. Warn your loved ones. Give grace but also, don’t give excuses.
Here are just some of the things you’ve witnessed in others (or do yourself) that are really a desperate attempt to perceive a state of control.
Most often we’re not aware that we’re trying to “control” anyone or anything. We just have an urge, a burning sensation an itch and NEED to SCRATCH IT.
With that being said, here we go
ONE MORE THING.
If you start reading this and think, oh my god. this is me. I HATE MYSELF.
A little (or a lot) of direction from professionals can do wonders; you’re not doomed.
So, with that being said, here we go,
Here are some thing often seen in someone seeking control
- perfectionism habits
- something needs to be done completely before moving on
- everything is orderly, straight, “right”, (“controlled”)
- they follow the rules
- usually people pleasers
- refuse to be wrong
- do not handle criticism well
- refuse to delegate a task, even to trusted people, such as their spouse, their assistant..
- even when they finally delegate the task, they find a flaw
- pick apart everything
- complain often
- dwell on things that happened in the past
- dwell on things that will happen in the future
- hold grudges
- can seem judgmental
- black & white, all or nothing thinking
- “wear the pants” in the relationship (insist it cannot be any other way)
- may disrespect boundaries or privacy; removing a child’s door, checking in often, sharing passwords, spying, etc.
- may control all the finances- insist it cannot be any other way
- may force friends and family or significant other into isolation
- have a habit of guilting others
- may borrow money, or do a favor to gain leverage
- give constant attention then expect constant attention
- create arguments to gain attention
- when someone has anorexia, consider their level of control in life before body image; restricting food is often their only form of control
Letting Go of Control Worksheets & Quotes
“Become comfortable with not knowing.”
“Let go of what you can’t control. Channel all that energy into living fully in the now”
“Surrender to what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”
“When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness”
“Choose the non-emotional response to any given situation and see how much easier your life becomes.”
“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”
Daphne Rose Kingma
“Change is the only constant in life. When we surrender to it, we can find growth and transformation.”
“You deserve to rest. Even if only for a moment. Put down the weight you’re carrying. Let go of the need to keep it all together. Take off your warrior mask. For this moment, now… just breathe.”
“Surrender is not about giving up or becoming a doormat. It’s about trusting the wisdom of the universe and allowing things to unfold in their own time.”
“Without desire there is stillness, and the world settles by itself.”
“Observe things as they are and don’t pay attention to other people.”
We can have peace if we let go of wanting to change the past and wanting to control the future. —
To let go of the illusion that I’m in control is an important lesson, because I tend to be a person who likes to be in control, not only of my art but of my life and things around me, and it can be healthy up to a certain point, but at the end of the day, we have to go on faith and learn to let go and ride the wave.
“When we surrender, we allow the universe to work its magic; we let go of our resistance and open ourselves up to new possibilities and experiences.”
“Surrender is the most difficult thing in the world while you are doing it and the easiest when it is done.”
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