How To Comfort Someone With Anxiety Through Text

  1. Be Straight Forward
  2. Stick With Factual Information
  3. Acknowledge Their Concerns
  4. Gently Discredit Unrealistic Worries
  5. Don’t Be Afraid to Say “I don’t know”
  6. Set Boundaries When Necessary
  7. Pass the Buck
  8. Give Reasoning/Rationale
  9. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
  10. Don’t Leave Room For The Imagination

Wondering How To Comfort Someone

With Anxiety Through Text?

how to comfort someone through text

Here’s how to comfort someone who is stressed over text

⇓ ⇓ ⇓

Be Straight Forward

Don’t be wishy washy or vague. If you’re going to be late, let them know you’ll be late, etc. Try not to say things like


“I don’t know”

“not sure”

“I might”

Instead of those try 

“I am going to try to be on time but I might have to work late. I’ll let you know when I find out.”

Avoid being vague and cold with responses. A person with anxiety is prone to thinking the worst case scenario. Information is a good way to relieve anxiety & telling someone you’ll keep them in the loop is a good way to keep it at bay.

They can have some piece of mind knowing they’ll be updated.


Stick With Factual Information

If you say something like

“that never happens.”

#1 that’s likely inaccurate. Many “anxieties” are things that can happen. They may not be likely to happen, but they probably could.

Secondly, it comes across as dismissive which can make someone with anxiety ashamed of their concerns.

Lastly, it’s not effective & because of how ineffective it is in comforting someone with anxiety, it likely won’t be the end of that conversation.


Acknowledge Their Concerns

I know, people with anxiety can get really annoying. I’ve been on both ends of the conversation and neither one is particularly enjoyable. But, for that moment, they’re anxious about something & that’s not fun. In the very least, you can say

“I’m sorry you’re feeling like that.”

“I could see being worried about that.”

It might seem like a good idea to downplay their worry but instead of making someone feel comforted it usually comes across as invalidating which leaves the person with anxiety feeling isolated.


Gently Discredit Unrealistic Worries

If the chance of a plane crashing is 1 in 9,821; feel free to remind them of it. It doesn’t have to be rude or obnoxious on your part.

Anxiety is a good thing to an extent and it’s worth praising someone for being concerned, but if the worry is unrealistic; that’s worth noting too.


Don’t Be Afraid to Say “I don’t know”

Sometimes we feel like we need to know the answers & we don’t have them. It’s okay to say you don’t know. I’m a nurse & people ask me for medical advice often. But I don’t know everything and promptly admit it when I’m unsure.

Sometimes we’re just not able to give those comforting words for someone with anxiety


Set Boundaries When Necessary

You teach people how to treat you.

If you’re available at any hour of the night for them & will talk/text for as long as they want, they’ll probably quickly recognize it.

Sometimes we have to let them know we’re busy, we’re working, we’re watching our kids football game, etc.

Your things matter too & the world will still spin whether you respond or not.


Pass The Buck

This is another way you can set a boundary. If it’s 4am & they think they’re dying; ambulances exist for a reason. Don’t feel obligated to solve all the legal advice, mental health crisis, & medical mysteries for someone with anxiety.

If your friend is coming to you about something that sounds like the exact thing a certain professional does; remind them of that.

Excessive prolonged anxiety should be introduced to a therapist, doctor, or SSRI. If you’re not one of those, you’re not one of those.

You may even know someone who recently experienced something similar that they’re going through; legal issues, illness, a divorce; feel free to inform them of someone who may be a better resource than you.


Give Reasoning/Rationale

Information provides piece of mind. Sometimes it’s beneficial to tell them the why. 

Even if the information isn’t necessarily good information; it’s usually better than no information at all. 


Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

It might seem like a good idea to say some blanket statement to guarantee whatever they’re worried about won’t happen & it isn’t always a terrible idea. But, you’re kind of setting yourself up for obligations to be anxious about.

If you do break the promise you have an apology to make & they may find you less trustworthy. 


Don’t Leave Room For The Imagination

Anxiety will fill in the blanks so give the full story. If you’re telling your anxious girlfriend that you’ll be late coming home from work, TELL HER WHY! If your going to send something like “hey, call me as soon as you can.”

You better give more detail than that. That leaves the imagination ALL THE ROOM in the world to finish the narrative of that conversation.

“hey, call me as soon as you can. My babysitter has COVID so I need to find someone else to watch the kids.” 

That’s a bit more clear. Now they can eliminate the possibility of a local school shooting, or that you just drove by their house & saw that it was in flames, etc.

Again, even if the information isn’t necessarily good; it will very likely be better than leaving a storyline that could be their worst fears. 



Anxiety sucks. Sometimes it’s part of our personality, maybe it’s PTSD related or maybe has to do with attachment. If anxiety is a big piece of your relationship; look into attachment types.

A lot of people struggle with anxiety and some anxiety is healthy. The “anxious” ones are usually the ones that remember the phone changer, pack the Tylenol & notice nuances before everyone else.

Their hypervigilance can sometimes be a saving grace but anyone who experiences debilitating anxiety knows it can be a real barrier.


Here is more content related to How To Comfort Someone With Anxiety Through Text

How To Be a Good Listener To a Friend


Best Medication for Panic Attacks and Anxiety


Dealing With Anxiety Triggers


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Some personality disorders are more prone to anxiety, I’ll put a list of them below. 

Personality disorders are grouped into clusters based on common similarities;

Cluster A: Social withdrawal or awkwardness driven by distorted thinking

Cluster B: Dramatic, impulsive and emotional thinking/behavior

Cluster C: Driven by fear

If you liked these words